9.20.2005

I couldn't have said it better...


I stumbled across this website following a link from geekphilosophy. Meg Wood's Boyfriend of the Week. And below is an excerpt from one piece I particularly agree with. For the rest of it, just go to her site and search the archive for this gorgeous man.

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Boromir, Boromir, Boromir. He's a complex kinda guy, don't you think? And man, I just really had a lot of sympathy for him, despite the fact I'm sure a lot of people thought he was a weak, greedy jerkface. Who hasn't been so tempted by a piece of shiny jewelry that they haven't gotten a little close to losing control? Okay, okay, so I'm not really into jewelry. But if that ring had been made out of espresso and I'd been camping all weekend with a bunch of short people with hairy feet and no camp stove? I would have totally acted the same way. And besides, he knew he screwed up, and he redeemed himself fully in the end when he sacrifices himself to keep Frodo safe. (I'd apologize for the spoiler there, but if you haven't see "Fellowship" yet, you have no business being here in the first place. What is WRONG with you??)

However, I do have one complaint about Boromir, and this goes for Aragorn, Eomer, Faramir and all the other "men" in the films. Ever hear of taking a bath? Because, honestly, you all just look like a bunch of stinkbombs. Yes, I understand that you had bigger fish to fry. But was there anyone else out there besides me who went, "Yeeeeech!" when Aragorn bent in to kiss Arwen? I mean, I love a good smooch as much as the next girl. But you just KNOW he smelled like sweaty socks. And she was all clean and pretty and looking like she spent a lot of time shopping at Bath and Body Works. I think a gentle hand to the chest and a "Hie thee to the showers!" would've been perfectly acceptable behavior on Arwen's part. Dodge that kiss, baby. Otherwise you're going to have to soap up for days just to get the grime off.

Alas, I digress.

Aside from the movies I just mentioned, though, and the 80 million Sharpe's installments, I was surprised to see that Bean hasn't really had much of a Hollywood career (not that that's necessarily a bad thing, mind you). He seems to be doing a lot better ever since LOTR (for obvious reasons), but many of the other movies in his list look either really obscure or just plain bad. And, even worse, just from looking at the descriptions of many of them, it appears that his niche is in playing bad guys. Which, of course, he does very well. But can't somebody cast him as the lead in a romantic comedy? I mean, it could be a period thing so he could still ride horses and wear chain mail and stuff. But I'd really like to see a lot more of his smile, if that's okay with you movie producing types. It's a rare thing to see in a film -- bad guys don't smile much, and when they do, it's because they're psychos and they're relishing the fact they're about to blow your head off. Somehow, not such a turn-on, you know what I mean? But dang he's got a great smile. And for evidence, just look at the right-most picture above -- doesn't that just pull at your insides? Don't you just want to grab that smile and plant a smooch on it?

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Back soon with more geeky goodness.

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